Being present ( not distracted )as a mother, can come easier some days, and feel impossible on others.
You can just be struggling to be present all the time.
You are easily distracted, you struggle to stay consistent and you struggle to finish tasks.
this is not a healthy way to raise children.
An off day is normal. But they should be an off day or the occasional ick week.
but a continual lifestyle of distraction is not fruitful and can feel frustrating and limiting.
Here are 5 ways you can increase your ability to be present and limit your distractibility.
- screens. For us mums it’s our phones.
- not enough sleep
- not working efficiently
- unbalanced hormones.
- taking on too much.
If this isn’t a problem for you I applaud you.
Many distracted mothers don’t even realise it is a problem, but screens of any sort completely clash with our natural dopamine levels and that is how you have to view screens.
Not only is the screen itself a dopamine producer, but the apps we use to stay connected also create addictive dopamine spikes equivalent to using cocaine.
It’s with this in mind that it becomes up to you to make the changes.
It is common sense to limit these things in order to become more balanced and less distractable.
Many times I have deleted Instagram, Facebook, and any other social media apps or apps that dominate my time. ( I enjoy watching. youtube channels, I often delete the youtube app on my phone and only allow myself to watch on my computer to limit the ease of carrying it around the house with me.)
Is there a better way to control this? there could be, but I know for myself I have to make rules. I use my time-blocking schedule and I monitor my screen time with an app on my phone.
of these fail or I want to take a week or two off my phone altogether I delete all the apps.
to learn about this topic a great book is stolen focus by Johan Hari
NOT ENOUGH SLEEP.
I mean, we all know when we are tired.
there are a few things you can do to help your sleep situation.
- Take magnesium daily.
- Add Celtic salt to your water at every new cup of water all day (this helps with getting water into the cell and staying hydrated +magnesium and many other minerals are in Celtic salt.)
- Eat well, and don’t eat a meal too close to bedtime! I make desserts often, but lately have p[ted to not eat them, if it is something I really love ( like pumpkin pie) I will save a piece and eat it the next day so I am not eating sugar before bed.
- Exercise daily! I do hiit most days, and weight lift three times per week.
- limit your screen time before bed. This is the hardest I find, I enjoy winding down to a good show before bed! but I have made it so that I wear my blue light-blocking glasses at night.
Getting enough sleep is crucial, to not only feeling better physically but also lessening your desire to be distracted mentally.
Those off days where we seem to seek distraction is usually a day when our sleep cycle has been off the previous night/nights.
NOT WORKING EFFICIENTLY
planning your days, even loosely is crucial.
A distracted mother will often do things aimlessly, and feel like they are getting nowhere.
If you don’t, you allow how you feel when you wake up to determine the outcome of your day.
Habits or even rules for yourself have to dictate, some days they will come easy, and other days you will be relying on the rules or habits to get you through, or at least get into a better headspace.
some of my rules for controlling my time and productivity are:
- I don’t look at my phone in the morning until my bible is read.
- I don’t make my morning Decaff coffee until my 15 minutes of HIIT is done.
- homeschool is begun as soon as breakfast is finished.
- no screens until the afternoon quiet time (my kids don’t watch tv until the sun has set, I let them watch a show while I cook and clean for the evening.)
- if I have to work out that day I don’t look at my phone in the afternoon until it is done.
- no social media after 9 pm.
read this post for more on planning and goal setting.
This is not something I am an expert on, but I do know that if your hormones are unbalanced, which can be due to an unhealthy gut due to an unbalanced diet and other outside factors, this can seriously affect women.
from mood swings, lack of deep sleep, anxiety, depression, fatigue, and lack of energy.
there are many symptoms of an unhealthy gut and unbalanced hormones.
If you want to get started on learning more about this, I will link a very helpful video below.
( I want to note Barbara O’neil is a 7th-day Adventist, and believes we shouldn’t eat meat, I don’t believe this and eat a lot of grass-fed organic beef and meat products and it has helped me feel fantastic)
some things I do to keep my hormones balanced.
- Avoid sugar as much as possible.
- Get more sleep.
- Eat more fermented foods for gut health.
- Switched to decaf. ( best thing ever!)
- Eat more protein!
- Intermittent fast.
- weight train
- Avoid hormonal birth control
TAKING ON TOO MUCH.
I think this is important.
know where your value lies.
Even helping others, we can only take on so much.
Be okay with saying you can’t do something ( it can be really uncomfortable I know!)
Even in the home, there is a reason I am still a minimalist homeschooler.
I strive for minimalism with what I own so I don’t have to clean and organise for hours on end.
I create the life that serves the time I have.
That time is placed where I am most valuable.
I am with my children, in my kitchen, in my garden, creating meals, I budget and take the time to be thoughtful and fruitful with what my husband provides for our family rather than put all of that on the optional back burner and seeking money on my own.
Being this woman is a very fulfilling place to be.
And remember, you create your own contentment.
Outward circumstances don’t create contentment.
I don’t believe women should seek to work outside the home.
Some do, and that isn’t my place to judge that, but I would always suggest you find a way to not work outside of the home while you have children in the home.
It means a financial sacrifice, but the outcome is worth the loss.
so, to sum up.
How is your distraction?
Do you have it under control?
If not, what can you do to create a less distracted lifestyle?